Searching For A Job

Are you sick of being self-confident or having bright dreams about future? Don't worry! I have a perfect solution for you; try finding a job! Your self-confidence will be crushed like a pathetic bug in no time. Works like a magic!

As I'm kinda experienced in this field, I will write what you have to do so that you get crushed easily, without any mistakes. I already have applied all this steps to myself and I guarantee you, my confidence gave his last breath in a great agony.

Step 1: Prepare a CV

You have to spend hours to complete this step. Make a research about writing a correct CV and write a one which appeals the eye. Be careful, I said appeal, not appall!

Step 2: Send your CV

I'm sending them as e-mails. My target is top tier firms. If you want to get crushed, your target must be them too. Don't forget, as you are one of my few readers, you are worth the best! Don't lower your standards until you get crushed so bad that you are okay to work for nearly free.

A slave driver aka Employer

My dear readers don't get too sad about not getting any reply. Most of slave drivers don’t even lift a finger to inform you about your rejection. I sent my CV to tons of them and got very few answers (rejections included). By the way, I developed a brilliant idea: to write a virus program with which my CV will pop-up once in a 10 minutes onto my wannabe employer's screen. And of course, I will include a note saying that virus would be deactivated as soon as I find a job. Isn't my idea brilliant? Unfortunately, I don't have enough computer skills for that :(

Me going to a job interview

Important tip: Don't use BCC function. (Don’t even dream about using CC) I read somewhere that BCC mails could go directly to spam box.

Step 3: Dress like a clown

Really, I feel like a clown in those formal suits. Ugh, as a student I really am so not used to them. And I HATE HIGH HELLS! Anyway, If you reached to this step, congratulations! Someone is CONSIDERING hiring you. But don't get too happy, you have tons of competitors.

Step 4: Smile and do your best

They will interview you. Don't forget to smile and be friendly. No one wants a sulking cold stone as a team member. Be charismatic and errr... Well to be honest, I don't know! Do something! Me too, I don't know what to do at this step as I still couldn't pass it and get employed :( I'm still trying. Wish me luck!

Please feel free to leave a comment J

And Thus I Began...

Don't we do it all? Acting with on impulse? Sure, we all do. It's even what I'm doing right now. Yes, I'm writing this blog on impulse. Why? Easy. If you are not a king, a president, a popstar or a dictator somewhere there, I guess I'm someone just like you. I have tons of things to say and too few listeners. So, as the mighty me decided to have more listeners, I began to this blog! How genius of me!

Are you like this already?

So, if you still didn't just closed this page rolling your eyes shall we begin already?

Don't you hate those "Oh, I know it all. I'm so smart and grown up." types of kids? Well, I hate them. C'mon! You are just a child. You SUPPOSED TO BE STUPID. You shouldn't speak about the education system or something, you should speak about how you will fight with sharks, or catch drug dealers when you grow up. Stop acting!

My dear readers, I can proudly announce that I was a proper child: a stupid one.

One day, I escaped from home. But to make it stupider, I escaped totally involuntary. You see, my only intention was to visit an aunt who lived nearby. It was very early in the morning, I got up and decided that I missed that aunt of mine. So instead of waiting for her to come (because she came to our house very frequantly) I decided to go to her. My mother was sleeping. But of course, as the good girl I was, I wouldn't wake her up just to inform that I was leaving. No no, that would be totally selfish and assholish. So I left a not which pretty looked like this:

You see, I had just finished elementary one. After writing it, I left that note next to my sleeping mom and left. You can guess the rest; Mom didn't see the note and the big panic began! Every one was up and calling the little Luna who mysteriously dissappeared. After hours of searching they found me and I found out in a dissappointement that they didn't see my note at all! On the top of that when I show my mother the note, she replied: "Whaa? That's illegible!" Ah, my wounded ego...

So, since then, whenever a hero of a film leaves leaving a note behind, I pay pure attention to see where he puts the note. Because from my experience I can easly say that if you want your note to be seen, you must leave it on a big empty table and preferably draw very big arrows which points out the note. You can use ketchup for the arrows, or if you hate the person you are leaving, put the note on a antique table and draw arrows with a permanent marker. Don't worry you are doing a good deed! You are making sure that nobody gets crazy worrying about you. And by the way, films where the hero doesn't do like I told and where the others find the note are bullshit!