Searching For A Job

Are you sick of being self-confident or having bright dreams about future? Don't worry! I have a perfect solution for you; try finding a job! Your self-confidence will be crushed like a pathetic bug in no time. Works like a magic!

As I'm kinda experienced in this field, I will write what you have to do so that you get crushed easily, without any mistakes. I already have applied all this steps to myself and I guarantee you, my confidence gave his last breath in a great agony.

Step 1: Prepare a CV

You have to spend hours to complete this step. Make a research about writing a correct CV and write a one which appeals the eye. Be careful, I said appeal, not appall!

Step 2: Send your CV

I'm sending them as e-mails. My target is top tier firms. If you want to get crushed, your target must be them too. Don't forget, as you are one of my few readers, you are worth the best! Don't lower your standards until you get crushed so bad that you are okay to work for nearly free.

A slave driver aka Employer

My dear readers don't get too sad about not getting any reply. Most of slave drivers don’t even lift a finger to inform you about your rejection. I sent my CV to tons of them and got very few answers (rejections included). By the way, I developed a brilliant idea: to write a virus program with which my CV will pop-up once in a 10 minutes onto my wannabe employer's screen. And of course, I will include a note saying that virus would be deactivated as soon as I find a job. Isn't my idea brilliant? Unfortunately, I don't have enough computer skills for that :(

Me going to a job interview

Important tip: Don't use BCC function. (Don’t even dream about using CC) I read somewhere that BCC mails could go directly to spam box.

Step 3: Dress like a clown

Really, I feel like a clown in those formal suits. Ugh, as a student I really am so not used to them. And I HATE HIGH HELLS! Anyway, If you reached to this step, congratulations! Someone is CONSIDERING hiring you. But don't get too happy, you have tons of competitors.

Step 4: Smile and do your best

They will interview you. Don't forget to smile and be friendly. No one wants a sulking cold stone as a team member. Be charismatic and errr... Well to be honest, I don't know! Do something! Me too, I don't know what to do at this step as I still couldn't pass it and get employed :( I'm still trying. Wish me luck!

Please feel free to leave a comment J